Crossworlds Saiyuki for ever
by DI Bolly Knickers
Summary: What would happen if Sanzô's gang found himself thrown into the Real World and had to cope with two totally nut-heads human girls ? I have to warn you this is sheer madness :p Reviews and comments are highly welcomed
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer

None of the Saiyuki characters are mine, but Bunny and Kyô do come out of my filthy mind.

This is a huge raving, probably totally out of characters but who cares ... ^_^

Once upon a time, four... no, five shapes were turning to the West, silhouetted against a great cliff on the sunset. One fo them was tall, with a haughty (though not totally indifferent) look, and his hair colour could have rivaled with the splendid sunbeams. He was wearing a high monk suit and carried a small gun. I think you recognized now the great, the splendid...

- Sanzô !

A small kid with his hair in a mess, a big redhead guy with cockroach antennas, a good-looking brown haired smiling young man and a small white dragon were standing behind the poisonous beauty. He turned to them with the faintest of smiles (did he let it escape or was it the sun in his eyes ?).

_Sanzô_ : Let's not waste any time. We can watch this as many times as we want as long as we're alive.

They all turn to the road in the heartwarming golden light, ready to go on with their wonderful adventures but then ... Sanzô turns to the screen that has been following them for a long time now and waits for something. Screams, outbursts of joy, tears, anything. But nothing happens. Puzzled, he turns to his companions.

_Sanzô_ : Did I not speak loud enough ?

All the others go « uh ? ». A small vein comes out of his temple and he bellows :

- Where the hell are the two nut-heads stalking me behind their screen ?

_Hakkai_ : Sanzô's been stalked by ladies ?

_Goku_ : Are they edible ?

_Gôjyô_ : Baaaka, you devour them !

_Sanzô_ : Would you please shut up !

_Hakkai_ : « Please » ?

_Gôjyô_ : Jeez !

_Goku_ : Are you alright, Sanzô ?

_Sanzô, through clenched teeth_ : These two drooling and cackling jerks have buzzed off before I could get them my smacker in the face !!

Suddenly a screen appears before them, dancing around the group like mad.

_Gokû_ : Hum, doesn't look appetizing ...

_Gôjyô_ : Hey ! How long's this thing been watching us ?

_Hakkai_ : It looks like some sort of door, though ...

_Gokû_ : Ne, ne, shall we get through it ?

_Sanzô_ : Just shut up, stup ...

_Hakkai_ : Ah ! Gokû, wait, it coud be ...

Even before any of them could stop him, Gokû has thrown himself enthusiastically through the screen. Then everything goes in a rush : Hakkai catches Gokû's ankle, Hakuryû follows Hakkai in a little distress scream, Gôjyô clutches to the dragon's tail and they all get engulfed in the stream behind the monkey. Sanzô finds himself alone and disconcerted in front of what just made his crazy gang disappear in a matter of seconds.

- What the ... ?! Che, stupid bloody lil' monkey ...

Nothing happens.

- I really was wondering if anything in this world could shut their gobs...

Sanzô holds on to his gun and smacker.

- You really aren't coming back until I come to beat you up, uh ?

He gets the top of his monk robe off and plunges into the screen. Thousands of colours are spiraling around him, melting with him. He feels like he falling asleep and then he hits the barrier of Imagination, entering the Real World like a dream dust.


	2. Chapter 2

On the other side, it was 4 o'clock in the morning. Two young girls, wrapped up in a huge duvet, were deeply sleeping. Until a window slammed open, letting a hurricane enter and four (no : five !) shadows fall on the floor before them. Bunny and Kyô woke up with a start, a pair of rabbit and cat's ear materialised on their head.

- Ero kappa ! Get your filthy hands off me !

- Oh yeah ? Whose fault is it if we're here now, baka saru ?

- It smelt good and I was hungry !

- This is what you get for being a walking stomach !

Bunny and Kyô, sit in their bed, were now perfectly woken and looked amazed at what seemed to be four persons and a flying UFO brawling in the middle of their living room.

- Urusei ! Shine ! screamed a deep and sensual (noo, not the gun, Sanzô, not the gun ^_^ ' ) voice.

Sanzô shot his gun everywhere, making the two girls' hands go up in the air and the guys finally noticing them.

_Gokû_ : Girls ! Cool, they could cook us something I'm starving !

_Gôjyô, smirking and his perversion antennas vibrating like mad_ : Is it me or is there a pussy and a bunny-girl ?

A big black cross fell upon Gôjyô's face.

_Hakkai, whispering_ : Gôjyô, watch your mouth, we still don't have permission for explicit content here.

_Sanzô, standing and brushing his robe_ : Ok, let's get going. The fastest we get to the West the fastest I can get rid of ...

He stopped in his tracks. The two girls, hands still in the air, were looking at him drooling. Suddenly the Bunny eared one shot up and threw herself on the high ranking monk. She really was looking like she was going to eat him right on the spot.

_Sanzô_ : No ! Not them ! Not now !

He went for the only escape route he could see at the moment : grabbing Hakuryû's tail, he thew himself through the window and hang there in the air.

_Gôjyô, half teasing half jealous_ : Wad'ya mean « not them » ? Would you happen to know them and have conveniently forgotten to introduce us ?

_Hakkai, gently smiling_ : Sanzô, I know you're in a quite tricky situation here, and I obviously don't mean that you're overweight, but I fear Hakuryû won't be able to sustain you for very long.

_Kyô, trying to catch a dodging Sanzô out of the window_ : C'm'ere, priesty ! Sanz ? Blondy ? Doesn't seem to like it...

_Sanzô, hysterical _: I need somebody to shoot ! I need somebody to shoot !

_B__unny, trying to comfort him_ : Ah, that's a shame you didn't show up earlier, I would have got you to kill that ol' grandma who complained all night long and kept kicking her broomstick on the wall last time we watched anime. And appart from that she's got smelly little dogs. Rats if you ask me. They left an awful smell on the elevator, it's just an infection...

Sanzô's head fell forward in despair.

- This is going to be veeery long...

_Hakkai_ : This is strange, they seem to know us...

_Gôjyô_ : Every beautiful girl knows me, whatever dimension she comes from...

_Kyô, smirking_ : You say so but we never actually saw you pull up any girl.

_Gôjyô_ : Try me.

_Kyô, with a devilish smile_ : No, you try me.

Surprised, he felt his cheeks firing up and he got surrounded by an intense red light. When it came off, he had shrunk to the size of a teddy bear, to the young girl's feet.

_Hakkai_ : Gôjyô !

_Kyô, seizing him_ : Kyaaa !! You're even cuter like this !

_Bunny to Sanzô, still out the windows and clinging to a dangerously smaller Harkuryû_ : Hey, fatal beauty, come back to me !

_Sanzô_ : Not even in your dreams ! Go get me my gun so that I can shoot you !

_Bunny, scoffing_ : And what if I don't ?

Sanzô looked at her, baffled.

_Hakkai_ : What is this place ?

_Kyô_ : Whad'ya mean, « this place » ? This is the Real World.

_Hakkai, puzzled_ : So we ... travelled through dimensions ?

_Gôjyô_ : And what about my ... size issue ?

_Hakkai_ : I guess you spent a little more energy when you blushed. Means we'll probably soon all be out of service.

There was a blowing sound and a thud. They all shot their head through the window to see the monk down in the yard, all shrunked with an even smaller Hakuryû in his hand.

- Shit...

He tried to stand but his strengths were leaving him. As he was falling backward, his arms and legs limp, somebody got him in their arms.

_Sanzô, a vein tilting at his temple_ : Stop drooling on me !

_Bunny, ears bent down_ : Can't help it ...


End file.
